Friday, February 17, 2012

I fear you no more, fear.

Today is a wonderful day for me, a landmark in my life. I eventually got a breakthrough in my fears and anxieties . I want to record my feelings so that everytime I need to re-assert I can get back here and charge my batteries.

I realize how all my life or over the years of my life I have been prioritizing my fears and breeding on them, allowing them to fester in my system. So much to the extent that the fear takes precedence over the issue. It has been more about ME than the actual reason . Instead of capitalizing on my strengths I have been making mine and my dear ones lives miserable brooding on my fears. I have allowed my negative thinking to eat into my brain, my soul and my life. It has stopped me from being the person I am or could be.
I let go off my negativity from today, I dont need them. I welcome positive thoughts into my life. My fears I side line them, push them into the corner, eventually but definitely to get rid of them one day. I dont care about them anymore, they can lie there unwanted, uncared.

I take inspiration from the good mother I am, from the immense source of love that pours from me. I take pride in my life, my intentions and the being I am. I love you my dear husband for your extreme patience and undying love for me. I have throughout our 21 years of togetherness bombarded you with my anxieties and negativities, yet you have always taken me to your bosom and tried to drive sense into me. Never once have you shown me disdain. I am thankful to my children who inspite of growing up with a mom who has not been a very good example of strength and optimisim, have turned out strong and independent and extremely caring girls. I love you amma for being what you are, strong and resilient and for relentlessy trying to
help me out. Same goes to my brother and sister in law for being there for me always and a big hug to all my friends who have shared my life and loved me for all that I am and I am not.

It is your persistent well wishes and love that has turned my way of thinking around.