Friday, February 17, 2012

I fear you no more, fear.

Today is a wonderful day for me, a landmark in my life. I eventually got a breakthrough in my fears and anxieties . I want to record my feelings so that everytime I need to re-assert I can get back here and charge my batteries.

I realize how all my life or over the years of my life I have been prioritizing my fears and breeding on them, allowing them to fester in my system. So much to the extent that the fear takes precedence over the issue. It has been more about ME than the actual reason . Instead of capitalizing on my strengths I have been making mine and my dear ones lives miserable brooding on my fears. I have allowed my negative thinking to eat into my brain, my soul and my life. It has stopped me from being the person I am or could be.
I let go off my negativity from today, I dont need them. I welcome positive thoughts into my life. My fears I side line them, push them into the corner, eventually but definitely to get rid of them one day. I dont care about them anymore, they can lie there unwanted, uncared.

I take inspiration from the good mother I am, from the immense source of love that pours from me. I take pride in my life, my intentions and the being I am. I love you my dear husband for your extreme patience and undying love for me. I have throughout our 21 years of togetherness bombarded you with my anxieties and negativities, yet you have always taken me to your bosom and tried to drive sense into me. Never once have you shown me disdain. I am thankful to my children who inspite of growing up with a mom who has not been a very good example of strength and optimisim, have turned out strong and independent and extremely caring girls. I love you amma for being what you are, strong and resilient and for relentlessy trying to
help me out. Same goes to my brother and sister in law for being there for me always and a big hug to all my friends who have shared my life and loved me for all that I am and I am not.

It is your persistent well wishes and love that has turned my way of thinking around.

Posted by at

9 comments:

  1. suma rajeevFebruary 17, 2012 at 11:07 PM

    Good One Smee..Self realization always good & keep us strong..Remember half sorrows we earn by expecting good things from wrong ppl & the other half we earn by detecting wrong things in good ppl..Good Luck..keep writing..:)Hugsssss

    ReplyDelete
  2. yespeeFebruary 17, 2012 at 11:08 PM

    surge ahead fearlessly---wishing you all bright and positive things in life---GOD BLESS---

    ReplyDelete
  3. SmeeFebruary 18, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    TY suma, in my case its never been about people as such. Its only my anxiety about my children and my most dear ones, their health and well being. :-)

    Ty SP.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ദാസന്‍ കൂഴക്കോട്February 18, 2012 at 2:43 AM

    good one smee chechi.. araise, awake, march ahead!!!... "jo dar gaya woh mar gaya!!..." good luck

    ReplyDelete
  5. pygmalionFebruary 23, 2012 at 5:06 AM

    I hope, along with the negativity and fear, will not go your charm, and depth of thoughts..
    Pardon me, but I am a selfish reader..

    Best Wishes dear Smee

    ReplyDelete
  6. SmeeFebruary 23, 2012 at 10:11 PM

    My thoughts have only become clearer on the contrary Pygma. Fear and negativity is like a thick fog blocking your view.
    Charm...mmm, I just go with the flow of my thoughts. They neednt always be charming :-)
    Thanks for your wishes dear.

    ReplyDelete
  7. പാര്‍വണം..March 7, 2012 at 12:50 AM

    I fear you no more, fear.
    Love this title....
    ഭയമില്ലെനിക്കിനി നിന്നെ , ഭയമേ..
    നിര്‍ഭയ(ന്‍) ഞാന്‍!
    Good writing ...
    :)

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)