Journey to me..2

The train chugged on into the setting sun. I sat drinking in the scenery, lost to the rest of the world, cut off from the turmoil of my thoughts and the hustle bustle of my co-travellers. Long train journeys always had a calming effect on me. Once it was post dinner , people huddled into their berths. The blue overhead light spread a serene blanket over the coupe. My thoughts went back to my journeys in my childhood and teenage days.

I wasnt a teenager any more, I am a woman pushing through my middle age, only that I think I was more sure of what I wanted from life then, than I am now. Now, there are times I feel a total stranger to myself. My heart tugs at me to break away from age old and self imposed restrictions and go explore the world, whilst my always 'do the right thing' mind wont let me even dwell on the thought. I ask myself, what is it you lack in life? Nothing ! Nothing, except that I have this insistently nagging feeling that I missed out on something big. I am ignorant about what is it that I missed out , all am sure is I surely have missed out. My journey would hopefully help me discover that what eludes me.

To get away from the alone-ness of the overcrowded, bursting city. To be one with the quiet unspoilt mountain terrain , to lie on the ground and feel its beating heart, touch the soil where-to I shall end up one day , breathe into my lungs life, instead of toxic smoke. I wait to look up into blue skies and marvel at the stars. I thirst to drink in the clear crystal waters of the Gangotri flowing down the mountain heights, rejuvenating my body and soul. I have wanted this from a long time back. What lessons await me there? Will they take me to myself? What surprises lie in stock for me? Or will it all be a venture in vain ?!!

Last I remember is the horn hooting in the distance...sleep thou is a divine gift from the gods.